if you’re suicidal, contemplating harming yourself in any way, in a dark place, or just simply are having a bad day i ask that you please read this:
i’m brian. you may not know me, and i may not know you but i don’t need to in order to care. i know times get rough and sometimes all you want to do is give up, but don’t. i’m not a motivational speaker, i’m not god, and i’m sure as hell not an angel but i’m really hoping that this writing will give you a realization. i want you to realize you CAN be happy if you allow yourself to be. maybe you’re having a bad day, week, month, or year… but you still have a whole life ahead of you. if you’re feeling down, pick yourself up. you don’t need someone else to. you can do it yourself, don’t ever rely on someone else. people come and people go. you’re stuck with yourself every living minute of the day. don’t be your own worst enemy, be your own best friend.
if you’re thinking of self-harming, i want you to understand this… there are so many other outlets you can resort to, you just have to find one that clicks with you. i understand that there are several different reasons why people harm themselves. physical pain may take away from the emotional pain, you hate yourself, you hate your body, etc. i understand. but why hurt yourself? what is that really doing for you? you may think it makes you feel better, but it makes you feel worse. you don’t forget about all your problems with a slit or burn on your skin. you just add to them. you add physical pain to mix with emotional pain. DO NOT rely on self-harming, it absolutely becomes an addiction. it will consume you and it’ll deepen your depression. write, sing, play an instrument, scream into a pillow, draw, do SOMETHING other than this. draw a butterfly wherever you harm yourself. in every single spot. the butterfly represents everyone you love, all the positive in your life, and everything that makes you happy. harming that butterfly will kill it. do you want to harm that butterfly? the butterfly that represents all the good in your life and the people most dear to you? no, you don’t, but you might. it’ll make you feel horrible. don’t give up. in the process to recovery there’s almost a 95% chance you will slip up, you’re not alone. KEEP trying, progress is essential. soon you will be harming once a week, then once a month, once a year (we hope not) but it’ll fade out. you won’t depend on it like you used to and i’m 100% guaranteeing you will be happier. if i could i’d kiss your cuts, burns, and your harm away. i would. just know that i care and i’m rooting for you. always will be.
if you’re contemplating suicide, take a minute to breathe and calm down. you don’t want to do this and i’m promising you that you will regret it. people WILL miss you, and if you really can’t believe that, i will. i wouldn’t have wrote this if i wouldn’t. i would be devastated hearing the news of your suicide. it would hurt me, so much. this isn’t your way out though. you have to fight with every ounce of strength in you, and don’t tell me you have nothing left because if you have nothing left you’d be dead. there is so much in you that you just don’t know of. you can’t just lay in your depression and expect things to get better. you HAVE to make them better. you don’t sit back and get results, you have to work hard to get them. if you work hard to be happy, you will be. you really really will be happy. vent out your feelings on a piece of paper then set it to flames. surround yourself by positive people, and if you have no one, by positive things. tbh i don’t have many people either, don’t feel bad. listen to happy music that makes you want to dance. stop torturing yourself with songs that you THINK you can relate to so well. songs that make you even more sad than you already are. that’s you letting your depression win. that’s you being defeated. stop losing, start winning. motivate yourself. if you think you’re ugly then you look in that mirror and smile and keep smiling until you’re comfortable. if you’re a girl stop wearing make up when you don’t have to. get comfortable with YOU, not who you feel pretty as. you don’t need make up to be beautiful. if you’re skinny or overweight work to get your perfect size. fat is a feeling, not a number. so is skinny. don’t strive to be either of those, strive to be HEALTHY. you will feel better when you’re HEALTHY, not skinny. don’t purge and force your meals up, exercise. slowly progress into a workout. if you don’t challenge yourself you will not receive results. surprise yourself. do things you didn’t think you could do. feel alive. you may have a pulse, but you might not feel lively. do things that remind you how beautiful live is. take your own advice, don’t just give it. smile, you wear it well. you will make it through this if you try. you don’t have to have a special talent or a perfect everything. all you have to do is try, and everyone can try. “i may fail if i try, i will fail if i don’t.”
you can ALWAYS come to me if you need me. i’m here, and if i’m offline, i will get back to you. i love you, very much, and if i didn’t i wouldn’t have wrote this. you are special to me. i think you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous. you are my friend, and you are far from alone with me. you can do this, i can help.